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The AlphaNYC Theater Company
  • The AlphaNYC Theater Co.

Upcoming Auditions for Adults

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Help Desk
​By Don Zolidis

Synopsis:  When you call the help desk, you're looking for a solution - but your problems might just be beginning. Whether you're getting shamed about your inability to log in, giving your credit card information to a scammer, or having serious conversations with a clown, customer service calls spiral into absurdity for the customers and employees alike in this hilarious comedy.
​

Casting - Seeking individuals 18 and older

Jeralyn - Female, Any age, works at a phone help desk, had a bad attitude and doesn't really feel like doing her job

Angel - Any Gender, Any age, needs help signing on to the program.  Has a mental breakdown while trying to get help from a terrible customer service agent.

Boris - Male or Any- 18-30, free spirit type, total stoner, doesn't like to be rushed, tries to psychoanalyse the problem instead of fixing it, ends up stealing his clients credit card info

Tanner - Male or Any, Any age, just wants a pack of socks from Amazon, thinks Boris is a little crazy, but goes with it, ends up getting tricked into giving his credit card info.

Talulah - Female, any age, loves her job, great at customer service even when dealing with stupid people, can convince any one of any thing

Carter - Male or any, any age, a total Karen, always wants to talk to the manager, is upset with science because they don't understand it, very gullible, shouldn't reproduce because they are so stupid.

Vinny - Male or any, any age, works at a help desk for a delivery service, has a ridiculous terms of agreement for delivery and teaches that you should always read the terms of agreement.  

Watkins - Male or any, 35+, just ordered a fragile lamp and is very upset that it was hurled out of the delivery truck, very irate, probably had children

Marcus - Male, any age, has been wearing the same pair of socks for 6 months straight and is now upset because they have developed a hole, a preschool teacher who plays with sick puppets

Bailey - Female, any age, a customer service agent who is tied of dealing with stupid people, tries to be helpful but when people are too crazy she has to get creative, can cry on cue

Dani - Female, any age, a customer service agent pretending to be the manager to desk with an irrational customer, fake fires her friend

Monique - Female, any age, a very condescending customer service agent, treats someone who needs help as if they were a stupid child, very rude, 

Preston - Male or any, any age, needs help putting together a complicated thing from Ikea, doesn't like being talked down to, between a rock and a hard place.

Boffo - Any Gender, any age, a clown, says they are a good listener but really just wants to do clown things.  Must have a clown outfit, clown doll and balloon animal balloons.

Tamara - Female, Any age, just took a genetic test to see if she has bad genes and got some troubling results so she wants to talk to someone who understands it, doesn't like clowns

Masha - Female, any age, works at a help desk for a pet store, is trying to explain to someone that they killed their goldfish by loving it to death
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Tori - Female, any age, got a goldfish 4 days ago and it died and she is upset that it didn't live for very long.

Mara - Female, 18-30, had a really stupid boyfriend and is looking for some help getting rid of him, not in like a murdering sort of way, but in a nice put him out to pasture kind of way.

Brent - Male or any, any age, works at a help desk, feels like he is being asked to kill someone and isn't really comfortable with it, but has to do his job.

Dani - Female, any age, pretending to be the supervisor.

Charlie - Male or any, any age, works as a customer service agent who helps people with viruses on their computer, the catch is he sells people viruses as a solution to their virus problem.

Brin - Female, any age, needs help with her computer because the antivirus software she bought is actually a virus infecting her computer and she's pissed.

Chase - Any gender, any age, works at a call center, had some pretty wacky ideas for how to deal with a bee infestation, free spirit type
Yamira- Female, any age, recently got a bee hive, not the brightest person ever, brought the bees into her home because it was raining and now has angry bees inside and needs help.

Milena - Female, any age, works for a credit card company, doesn't see an issue with someone having their credit card stolen, thinks it's funny, ex credit card thief.

Stuart - Male or any, any age, Milena’s boss, does not care about customer satisfaction, thought there was romantic tension with Milena

Tanner - Male or any, any age, is upset because his credit card was stolen in an earlier scene, is frustrated with the lack of help

Bofo - Any gender, any age, a clown who works in costomer service)

Jess - Female, any age, needs help with adding data to her plan, gets passed around from one customer service agent to another and gets very frustrated

Vic - Female, any age, works in account modifications, doesn't want to do her job and just transfers people away, pretends to be helpful

Brett - Male or any, any age, works in customer service, is a dirty liar, doesn't want to do his job and just transfers people away.

Miley - Female, any age, works in data planning, doesn't want to do her job and just transfers people away, doesn't really have the time for things.

Maybel - Female, any age, is the person who can actually help Jess, but it's the end of the day and doesn't want to do her job.


Schedule an Audition:  Auditions are scheduled for Monday, March 29th & Thursday, April 1st by appointment only ONLINE.  Please schedule ONE audition.  Please visit this link to schedule your audition:  www.supersaas.com/schedule/AlphaNYC/Help_Desk
​
What to Prepare: A short contemporary monologue or a short Shakespearean monologue of 90 seconds or less.  Please use a digital background on Zoom for your audition if possible.  Not required but would be great as potentially will used for performances.

For Those Previously Scheduled, Where Are Auditions?:
Auditions will be held online using the Zoom platform.  A dedicated link will be sent to everyone with an audition scheduled.

Performance Guidelines:
This production is non-equity and there is no pay.  There are no fees to participate.  Performances will take place a online using the Zoom platform.

All times are EASTERN STANDARD

Any date listed as required is a deal breaker if actor/actress is not available.  All other dates will be assigned based on part.  

Rehearsals
April 13 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast A (Required)
April 15 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast B (Required)
April 20 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast A
April 22 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast B
April 24 - 7PM till 9PM - Cast A
April 25 - 7PM till 9PM - Cast B
April 27 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast A
April 29 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast B
May 1 - 7PM till 9PM - Cast A
May 2 - 7PM till 9PM - Cast B
May 4 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast A
May 6 - 7:30PM till 9:30PM - Cast B
May 11 - 7:30PM till 10:30PM - Cast A (Required)
May 13 - 7:00PM till 10PM - Cast B (Required)

Mandatory Dress/Tech
May 14 - 12-3pm Cast A (Required)
May 14 - 3-6pm Cast B (Required)
 
Mandatory Performances
May 14 @ 7PM - Cast A
May 14th @ 9PM - Cast B
May 15th @ 7PM - Cast B
May 15th @ 9PM - Cast A
May 16th @ 4:30PM - Cast A
May 16th @ 6:30PM - Cast B
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10 Ways to Survive Life In a Quarantine
​By Don Zolidis

***Please note this play both rehearses and performs online using the Zoom platform!*

Synopsis:  If you're spending a long time at home, it can be a challenge to keep yourself occupied. Luckily, 10 Ways to Survive Life in a Quarantine is full of handy solutions, from putting on a musical with your dog, to becoming an announcer for a made-up sport, to falling in love with an inanimate object. Hey, we promised handy solutions - we never said they wouldn't be strange. Whether or not you're inspired to take up origami and squirrel observation, this flexible new play written by Don Zolidis especially for actors to perform online is sure to bring a laugh to anyone who finds themselves unexpectedly indoors.
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Casting - Seeking individuals 18 and older
Uder - it's his birthday and unfortunately no one showed up to celebrate with him for to quarentine so he has decided to throw himself a party with presents and everything, turns out he stole all of his friends credit card numbers to buy himself gifts, must have wrapping paper, cell phone and cash.

Ashley - see herself as a goddess and let's her stuffed animals worship her, tells the story of how she became a Goode's to get stuffed animals, delusional, must have a lot of stuffed animals and a goddess outfit.

Jeff - still lives at home with his mom, see himself as king of his kingdom, doesn't want to take out the trash, sentences his friend, Mr Puppets, to death by being thrown off the bed, must be able to set up room like a throne room, must have stuffed dog (or any animal).

Anya - a typical zoomer, going through the trauma of her mom taking away her cell phone just because she locked her brother in the basement, over dramatic, must say good

Andrew - tells an epic (Greek tragedy style) tale of a dog walker that was blown off course and the journey that they went on as a result, comfortable with heightened text, wears a yoga, it would be great if he has a dog. 

Rachel - tells a horror story while under a blanket about going out to Costco and all they had was single ply toilet paper, good at building dramatic tension, can tell a terrifying take no matter how absurd, must have a flashlight and blanket.

Jamal - his life purpose is to teach everyone how to quarentine/hibernate properly, makes a pillow fort and had everything he could need for a comfortable hibernation within and reach, very disheveled, hasn't showered in a while, must have the ability to make a pillow fort.

Tony - is obsessed with physical fitness and chocolate and is able to combine his two obsessions, fully committed to the absurd, has access to and can eat multiple candy bars.

Lyn - a fashionista who is doing a quarantine style fashion show, wears fancy or silly pajamas, interested in fashion, great comedic timing, fully committed to the ridiculous things she does, must have unique pajamas a robe and slippers.

Lucas - the referee/announcer at a cat fight, energetic, professional with a passion for the fight, great announcer voice, quick on their feet, preferably wearing a suit.

Anna - obsessed and amazed with a spider who is making their web, gets very involved in the making of it, can show the world the wonder of nature, must have access to a window.

Neima - obsessed with the drama of the lives of squirrels and compares it to the drama of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, contently looking out her window to watch the drama unfold, must have a window with a view of a tree, it would be great if there were squirrels in the tree.

Jules - a student obsessed with Nathaniel Hawthorn and the book The Scarlett Letter, enthusiastic.

Torrance - a student who is having a hard time accessing any of his online classes, a little bit of a mess, nothing works for him and we see the frustration of trying to get things to work.

Alison - a student who loves math, very nerdy, willing to do extra math homework for her class mates in return for cash, a brilliant business woman, high energy.

Reagan - performs the ending of Hamlet using a Stuffed Bear, a Stuffed Owl, A frog and other stuffed animals, must be comfortable with Shakespearean dialect, must have a Stuffed Bear, a Stuffed Owl, A frog and other stuffed animals.

Sahra - performs the climax of Macbeth between MacBear and MacDuck using a stuffed bear and duck, must be comfortable with Shakespearean dialect, must have a stuffed duck and a stuffed bear.

Bailey - performs the play Julius Caesar using her large collection of stuffed bears or other stuffed animals all wearing togas, must be comfortable with Shakespearean dialect, must have a lot of stuffed bears (at least one bear and other stuffed animals would work).

Alain - a boxer (or at least he pretends to be). at a press conference talking about his next fight, must be able to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Boxing gloves would be nice.

Marvin - playing in a real life (made up in his head) competitive solitaire championship, plays out a game of solitary during the scene and voices the announcer, must have card deck and poker set.

Tash - a basketball enthusiast, thinks she's great at basketball but is not actually, goes back and forth between player and announcer, must have a basketball hoop set up (any size, from a trashcan and bouncy ball to a outdoor hoop).

D'Angelo - Bob Ross type, finds peace and tranquility in painting, is not a very good painter, stays happy even when imagining a meteor destroying everything, must have basic painting supplies.

Pascal - working out in his garage making bird houses but goes through a mental crisis realizing that birds don't deserve our help and he shouldn't make them houses, must have a garage and tools. 

Jolene - appears at first to be very put together, room is pristine, she looks like a million bucks, ends up going crazy because she can't figure out origami, great comedic timing.

Josie - performs the Phantom of the Opera with her dog, has great comedic timing, can sing well, very dramatic, Must have a Dog in real life.

Cameron - performs a two minute version of Beauty and the Beast with his dog (or cat) playing Belle, must be able to jump back and forth between different characters, great comedic timing, high energy. Must have a dog (or a cat) in real life.

Ella - has a lot of cats, still lives at home with Mom, is obsessed with the musical Cats, and has her cats do a reenactment of Cats, can sing (badly). Must have a cat at home, the more the better. It would be great if they dressed up.

Lou - nerdy school kid who never gets noticed unless it's as someone to ridicule, has a huge stash of toilet paper and is now trying to build his popularity by using it, must have toilet paper.

Bryn - she is dressed as a princess living in a fairy tale bedroom, she has fallen in love with a lamp and see it as her Prince charming, can sing (badly), must have a lamp and princess costume.

Peter - he is a total mess, has gotten to the phase of quarantine where he is talking to inanimate objects, had fallen in love with a basketball, must have a basketball and a tennis ball.

The Cohost - one of the hosts for the show, introduces all of the different characters, strong improvisational skills, preferably real life room mates with Host.

The Host - one of the hosts for the show, introduces all of the different characters, strong improvisational skills, preferably real life room mates with Co-Host.

Schedule an Audition:  Auditions are scheduled for Monday, April 12th and Tuesday, April 13th by appointment only ONLINE.  Please schedule ONE audition.  Please visit this link to schedule your audition:  www.supersaas.com/schedule/AlphaNYC/10_Ways_to_Survive_Life_In_a_Qu
​
What to Prepare: A short contemporary monologue  90 seconds or less. 

For Those Previously Scheduled, Where Are Auditions?:
Auditions will be held online using the Zoom platform.  A dedicated link will be sent to everyone with an audition scheduled.

Performance Guidelines:
This production is non-equity and there is no pay.  There are no fees to participate.  Performances will take place a online using the Zoom platform.

All times are EASTERN STANDARD


Mandatory Rehearsals
Wednesday, April 21st - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, April 22nd - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B
Wednesday, April 28th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, April 29th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B
Wednesday, May 5th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, May 6th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B
Wednesday, May 12th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, May 13th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B
Wednesday, May 19th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, May 20th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B

Mandatory Dress Rehearsal
Friday, May 21st - 12PM till 3PM - Cast A
Friday, May 21st - 3PM till 6PM - Cast B

Mandatory Performances
Friday, May 21st @ 7PM - Cast A
Friday, May 21st @ 9PM - Cast B
Saturday, May 22nd @ 7PM - Cast A
Saturday, May 22nd @ 9PM - Cast B
Sunday, May 23rd @ 7PM - Cast A
Sunday, May 23rd @ 9PM - Cast B
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The Monologue Show
By Don Zolidis
​
***Please note this play both rehearses and performs online using the Zoom platform!***

Synopsis: After three months of rehearsing their monologue show, Mr. Banks' drama class must switch to performing online - but these students are such a mess, the internet stage is the least of their problems. From the couple staging their real-life break-up to the garden-gnome thief confessing his crimes, everything that can go wrong will in this flexible collection of hilarious tall tales.

Seeking Adults, Ages 18 & Older

Mr. Banks - dry, dead inside, unbearable to watch slow cadence; imagine Ben Stein‘s clear eyes commercial in the ’90s as a reference or just a husk of humanity that is internally screaming for help. Reference Edvard Munch’s painting The Scream.

Bailey - false sense of confidence, gullible, egotistical; picture you are a member of the Beverly Hillbillies, no let’s add a bit of spice, you are overly confident after finally having the affirmation of others and are as overzealous as a new member to weight watchers. All I’m saying is your character is biting off more than they can chew. 

Bradley - in denial, strung out, recovering addict or at least we think; you know that friend that we all have who can never follow a straight story because they may or may not have attention deficit issues.. yeah that’s Bradley, and he's off to see the wizard.

London - insecure, OCD, jealous, ranting, knows her worth; remember that relationship that you couldn’t get over soon enough and it just dragged on forever yeah London is definitely in that toxic place. Maybe she secretly loves her narcissistic ex still, loves to hate him at least… 

Jae - fixed eyes, little to no blinking wide-eyed, over indicates expressions, stiff; everybody knows that control freak that just needs to loosen up well. Jae sets the template for “Karen’s” everywhere

Caleb - narcissistic tendencies, surfer bro attitude, defensive; think of a young Keanu Reeves in point break mixed with Aston Kutcher in Dude Where’s My Car?

Marla - shy, nervous, timid; she is kind of like that one kid that does not belong at the spelling bee, nonetheless, this is the most erratic thing she has ever done in her meek life so props to Marla. 

Brandon - a go-getter of sorts set the bar low and you’ll always achieve your expectations, suffers from stage fright perfectionist, hard on himself, nervous Nellie; think highly intelligent over-thinker. Has Stewie Griffin's intellect impressive not just for its breadth, but the premature age it appears—after all, Stewie's still an infant.

Brenda - Obsessive, identity crisis, crazy; think of somebody taking vicarious living to a whole new level. Brenda is bonkers, she loves her sister so much we are surprised she didn’t consume her in u:ter:o. Or maybe some sort of invasion of the body snatchers thing is going on…

Brianna - paranoid, exhausted, scared/skittish; think Gretchen Wiener from (Mean Girls )being thrown into a psych ward from having the sister from hell... and carries a grudge against her mother for the lost time she was trapped in her womb.

Angel - takes regular Lamaze classes just so she can order decaffeinated coffee, high strung, precise; do you ever wonder why we have 24-hour antiperspirant deodorant? people like Angel buy this product and use it as Chapstick.

Jessi - queen slay, biased, cheeky; remember the meme “hide yo kids hide yo wife” yeah bring on that pizzazz

Tom - nerd, favorite food Pizza Rolls, possesses the power of the force and the Darkside at will; Think of George Lucas as having a mole removed in the late 90s and that mold growing into a man named Tom. This guy is still evolving... kind of like the character progression of 50 shades…

Alyssa - schizophrenic/borderline personality disorder, an innocent voice says messed up things; if Taylor Swift could Astro project her Darkside and possess people to do terrible things that would be this character. Think to kill them with kindness and kindness is the name of a machete. 

Monica - always throwing a pity party, tastefully dramatic, believable.; thinks that ASPCA commercial with Jennifer Love Hewitt talking about all of those poor animals when (the arms of an angel) song is playing in the background. Bring out your best mid-century acting, make the audience feel an uneasy roller coaster of emotion that ejects them from the ride quickly. 

Barney - Aggressive, child of a flower child gone wrong, deeply repressed rage; Think John Bender from the breakfast club, mixed with a boy named Sue. 

Morgan - insincere phony, over-the-top televangelist/ inspirational speaker; Morgan may just be the product of a Shamwow commercial, in fact, her birth was shot on (Shark Tank) for an as seen on tv newborn lineup. 

Todd - Evel Knievel meets the greatest showman, multiple concussions, cocky; Remember the hog wild twirling spaghetti fork?... Yeah neither do we, Todd here on the other hand is stuck in a constant loop of euphoria for his talents due to major head trauma and thinks he is just as exciting as the first time you heard of a fork that spins your spaghetti for you. 

Jeremy - going through puberty, eager to impress, thirsty; think of that kid who is first experimenting with hair gel/ pomade, takes daring advice from Fonzie, and whose sense of reality has seriously jumped the shark... special skills include smoldering, axe deodorant, leather jacket. 

Tara - aggressive, American psycho, dramatic, diva; can you say method actor?.... yeah let’s hope you never need to go down this emotional rabbit hole of control issues seeded in a false sense of reality. Go ask the hooka worm when he's 10 feet tall.

Lola - imperialist, psychic powers, flirting with psychological warfare; our little Stranger Things, Winter Soldier. imagine Captain Ivan Drago from Rocky 4 mixed with Carrie and her psychic powers. This kid is willing to gain a victory at all costs, so long as that doesn’t mean studying. 

Callie - kind, gentle, uncomfortable; think of the rest of the quaker oats family, left out of frame. 

Mia - delusional, superfan, OCD; you know those people who dress up like the movie characters when they go to see the film. Well, Mia takes that a step further and sends hand-cut letters to the cast from torn magazine pages threatening them to fulfill her twisted fantasy. Her name stands for missing in action after all. 

Matt - simp, lover boy, jealousy runs deep with love; everyone knows someone who’s been friend-zoned, hey maybe you have to, take the stage and sing your Love ballad. 

Kate - breaks 4th wall the audience is thinking, blunt, normal for the most part but is seething; think of someone who has just had enough, noting too outrageous because Kate in a way is validating our audience for seeing the flaws in all of our characters. 

Karl - suffers from PTDS: post-traumatic date syndrome, crazy cat guy; think Lieutenant Dan from Forest Gump after he lost his leg mixed with the pigeon lady from Home Alone. That's just a walk in the park.

Joe - listens to Grateful Dead, into philosophy, stoner; have you ever looked at someone and wondered what in the world are they thinking, people like Joe don’t even know what they are thinking. 

Angelica - underachiever, didn’t do the work;  think of someone who uses Wikipedia as a fact-based site and copies/ pasted off of spark notes for their biography. 

Olivia - bland, materialistic, betrayed; imagine the movie her with Joachim phoenix. Now imagine that as our character but Olivia is going through a bad divorce with the phone and falling out of love. 

Burma - bad luck, activist, hidden hand mastermind.; think of the cartoon (Pinky and Brain), Burma is the mouse brain. A series of hangover-style unfortunate events transpire after building up some negative energy in the universe for some time now. 

****
All participants must have:
Reliable internet or strong data connection
Facility with Zoom
Ability to use a virtual background on Zoom
***

Schedule an Audition:  Auditions are scheduled for Wednesday, March 10th by appointment only ONLINE.  Please schedule ONE audition.  Please visit this link to schedule your audition: www.supersaas.com/schedule/AlphaNYC/TheMonologueShow
​
What to Prepare:  A short contemporary monologue,  90 seconds or less.  Please use a digital background on Zoom for your audition if possible.  Not required but would be great as they will used for performances.

For Those Previously Scheduled, Where Are Auditions?:
Auditions will be held online using the Zoom platform.  A dedicated link will be sent to everyone with an audition scheduled.

Performance Guidelines:
This production is non-equity and there is no pay.  There are no fees to participate.  Performances will take place a online using the Zoom platform.

All times are EASTERN STANDARD


Mandatory Rehearsals
Wednesday, March 17th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, March 18th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B

Wednesday, March 24th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, March 25th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B

Wednesday, March 31st - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, April 1st - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B

Wednesday, April 7th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, April 8th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B

Wednesday, April 14th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast A
Thursday, April 15th - 6PM till 8PM - Cast B


Mandatory Dress/Tech Rehearsals
Friday, April 16th - 3PM till 6PM - Cast A
Saturday, April 17th - 9AM till 12PM - Cast B


Mandatory Performances
Friday, April 16th - 8PM - Cast A

Saturday, April 17th - 2PM - Cast B
Saturday, April 17th - 5PM - Cast A
Saturday, April 17th - 8PM - Cast B

Sunday, April 18th - 2PM - Cast A
Sunday, April 18th - 5PM - Cast B
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